Well, here is where it begins. Today 2/2/14 is the second chance at a journey I started long ago. Insecurity and laziness have contributed to my demise...and I have now decided to take my life back. I will no longer let other's run my life. My life is my own, and my health is all I have.
Honestly, I have lived under a veil for some time now. I had quit really seeing myself as fat. I made excuses for not wanting to exercise, and eat whatever I wanted.. I even joke about being fat. But some real life experiences blew that veil off my face..and I started to see what was really happening with me.
Over the last few months, a series of events had opened my eyes. The most recent being my audition for a musical I really wanted. I felt I did really well on the initial audition and even got a call back. Vocally I felt like I NAILED it.. I got another call back for Choreography. I knew my weight might be an issue, and it made me very insecure about the way I was performing the routine. At one point I completely blanked and stood in one spot looking at the director and rolling my eyes. (NOT GOOD). I was winded, sweaty and annoyed. I couldn't move as fast as the other dancers, and I kept thinking if I have to sing and do these steps I am doomed. My heart raced and I knew I blew it.
That is when I finally decided that I wasn't going to excuse myself any longer.
If you want something, you have to go for it.
Quit giving myself an out and work it out instead.
Make things happen.
The only way I knew how to do this is to ask my friends for help. So, I posted on Facebook and got a great response. I have some amazing friends.
I gave a list of 5 things I was looking for:
1) A Photographer who will take an amazing head shot of me. - I struggle with using a selfie because it seems so.......weird.
2) a Make-up/hair artist to make me look fabulous for said head shot.
3) An Audition/Vocal/Acting coach or someone I can go to for advice on how to present myself for auditions.
4) A Dance coach to show me all sorts of steps and moves. - This is my worst area. I bombed an audition for a part I really wanted because of my insecurity in this area...i am not a confident dancer and I want to feel more at ease with it.
5) An Accountability partner for the following: exercise, food, and God. I am not insecure about myself, but I do know that the weight I carry has hindered my abilities to do the things I really want to do.
First things first.. I need to set up my accountability team. This is where you come in. I am relying on you to be my support and call me out when I'm being silly. I will do the same for you. It's not easy to take these steps alone, we need each other. I need you.
Let's get the ball rolling and find our path to our dreams!!
ARETHA! Here I come! :)